untitle

Is dark, one more night, one less to go. You lay in bed, a cigarrete in hand, a book on the side, your sight lost in your thoughts. Your sad face doesnt seem to change but still I keep on trying to make it ok, even thought you and I both know what I do is worthless, it is destroyed by the distance. Life goes by and you dont give much of a thought to it; you come and go, you give and take, you cry and laugh; you just dont give a damn. You are willingly going to tour selfcreated worst case scenario and I pretent to make a difference, I pretent to fill in the emptyness with words when you need actions. That makes me sick, to want you so bad and not be able to do anything about it and to make our paths crossed at some point.
Sometimes you seem to care, you seem to let go and put yourself out there; but most of the times you do not. I try my best to hold it together, I tell myself you will give in and that hope keeps me going a bit longer; other times I even try to let you go enough so that your indifference doesnt hurt me that much, but as everything else it doesnt work.
Now it has been too long, I have never cared about someone this much for this long. It is about time we change, I want to change your loneliness, your sadness, your perspectives. I want to help you get your goals, I want to fill your days with smiles and love, I want to have you in my arms and whisper in your ear how much I love you.
Yet you are still in bed, staring at the nothing, in company of your memories wishing to create new ones. Pen in hand you let your sadness out. I dont know if you think of me but if you do it is not enough to make change your mind or at least make you smile.