once again loneliness surrounds me,pain is at my doorstep.im standing on my memories,drowning in them.i try hardto get a hold onto somethingbut nothing except suffering showed up.i thought i saw a light, a way out,but it ended up being the eyes of a mostergetting closser and closserand that's now living withing me.i see through its eyes,it keeps me alive,gives me just what i need to survive.keeps me company in thiscold, dark and endlessly place im at.but still, i can not move,it wont let go, it's always therereminding me how good the past was,how better the future could beand how bad this present is.maybe that's why i just gave up,why keep on fighting?if it gives me things,things that i cant find anywhere else, things that either make me cry or smile,things that at least make me feel something...anythingand although i know all of this is just a dreamthats just inside of me,it's way better than what's outside,its what keeps me sane in this screw up thing we live in ...in this so called reality.